Over the course of my professional career,  I have explored a number of theoretical frameworks:  Existential, Gestalt, Psychoanalytic Psychodynamic, Systems, Object Relations, MindBody and Crucible.  Fundamentally, I remain an existential therapist.

Psychotherapist and writer Scott Peck, PhD wrote:
“Life is difficult because it is a series of problems, and the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one.  Problems, depending on their nature, evoke in us many uncomfortable feelings: frustration, grief, sadness, loneliness, guilt, regret, anger, fear, anxiety, anguish or despair.  These feelings are often as painful as any kind of physical suffering. Indeed, it is because of the pain that events or conflicts engender in us that we call them problems.  Yet it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life finds its meaning.  Problems call forth our courage and wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguish between success and failure.  It is only because of problems ( struggles, challenges) that we grow mentally and spiritually.
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Have you ever noticed in times of stress, how some people manage to stay calm and together when others are angry, blaming, anxious, collapsing or running away?  It’s a rare individual who is not exposed to stress.  People are constantly being  confronted with challenges to their equilibrium such as dealing with downsizing in a business, with a family member’s life-threatening illness, with a son’s or daughter’s deployment in the Middle East.  Then there are the ‘daily’ stressors of life in metropolitan Washington – long commutes replete with road rage or gridlock, finding parking spaces at the Metro, racing to the daycare after work to pick up toddlers, or making dinner after a full day at the office while helping a child do their homework; trying to make ends meet on fixed or shrinking salaries.

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Four Patterns of Response to the Inevitable Anxieties of Life

While there’s no escaping the existential anxiety of life that we humans face, i.e. we know we will die, I’d like to focus your attention on the anxieties that occur in relationships, particularly committed ones. It is inevitable that tensions will occur between two people. What they do with them can make all the difference in the world. The three most common approaches to handling anxiety are other-focused, meaning that the coping style is done in reaction to another person. The fourth approach to handling anxiety is determined by oneself, it’s self-focused. Rather than reacting to or being dependent on another to define oneself, a differentiating person strives for stability or a sense of self coming from within herself rather than from without.

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