Change is often not easy
Typically, individuals or couples who are having problems, turn to psychotherapy after finding their own coping skills insufficient for dealing with current psychological challenges. All psychotherapists and the models they use are not equal. Therefore it can be a daunting task for prospective clients to find a therapist with whom they are willing to invest their money, time, and emotional energy.
I hope by providing you with some idea of my approach, I can make your choice easier.
What I am as a therapist
- I am present in sessions with clients, by that I mean you get my undivided attention during the times we meet together.
- I tell people what I observe during sessions and clients are free to use those observations however they choose.
- I speak to the best in people versus playing to their weak suit.
- I work with individuals and couples to increase their anxiety tolerance rather than attempt to eliminate anxiety. Anxiety is inherent in adult life. All too often, people attempt to avoid anxiety provoking situations which can lead to forgoing personal aims and desires.
Here are some of the things I’m not
- A paid friend
- An unconditional listener
- A clinician who’s available 24/7. I have my own life and part of what we would be doing is to help you find meaning in your life and the ability to see your best options, make decisions and put them into practice rather than becoming dependent on a therapist in order to move on in your life.
- Silent in sessions. You will hear what I put together about you and your situation, even if it may be hard to hear initially.
Part of changing is being willing to make mistakes and to experiment as you take on new challenges and unfamiliar patterns of behavior.
Feelings are useful insofar as they help you know yourself. However, too much investment in particular feelings winds up being restrictive to an individual’s overall growth and development. The field of psychotherapy often bogs down in an overemphasis in feelings.
When working with married or long-term committed couples, I apply the tenets of David Schnarch’s Sexual Crucible model which looks at problems in intimacy and sex as normal hurdles on the path to developing a “solid self “ capable of depth in sexual and emotional intimacy.
My approach is an integrity-based one designed to strengthen what individuals and couples hold dear. I also challenge coping skills that perhaps were developed before individuals were able to make conscious choices about using them.
I believe that we humans can grow and develop throughout our life span. We all are confronted with a range of conflicts – internal and external – throughout the course of our lives. These conflicts include but aren’t limited to: psychological and emotional issues, physical and health limitations, sexual intimacy and desire issues, familial crises, work-related problems, crises arising from political and regional conflicts, economic downturns, death and loss. We can also be challenged when life is good, finding that we are unable to walk fully into the goodness, richness and meaningfulness of those opportunities. I work with individuals, couples and groups to increase their capacity to manage stress while also increasing their capacity for passion and meaning in their lives.